Let's talk about Special Day Syndrome.
Anyone with a friend planning a wedding has heard all about this. You fall in love, you get engaged, and all of sudden your ability to keep perspective and manage your money goes out the window. “I really hate the idea of spending $85 to rent a tablecloth, but it’s my SPECIAL DAY! Why not splurge for the most wonderful, important, romantic, impossibly SPECIAL DAY of my life?” It's crazy, right?
Well, yes and no. While I think that the word "special" is overused, especially in the context of a wedding, a friend who starts talking this way sort of has a point.
When my husband and I got engaged, my brother and sister-in-law were staying with us. Nobody planned it that way, but they happened to be in town and needed a place to stay for the night, and their presence on the day of our engagement made it even more special and exciting. As we shared champagne and celebrated together that night, I made a crack about brides who go crazy over their “special day” and rolled my eyes. “Your wedding day is very special, though,” my brother chimed in earnestly.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. His wedding was fantastic. It was simple but extremely elegant, and the vows were personal and heartfelt. And somehow, obtaining my big brother's “permission” to go crazy over my wedding made me feel a lot less guilty about it. We didn’t spend $85 each on our table linens, but we did end up spending more on things that we had anticipated. And you know what? I don’t regret it.
I don’t regret getting every detail just the way we wanted. Sure, there were things that could have been more luxurious had we made different choices. We could have had a longer reception, I could have had a more extravagant gown, or we could have spent thousands on real flowers rather than use the paper bouquets I made in the months leading up to the wedding. (On second thought, there’s no way I would make that switch. Those bouquets were so cool.) But even with our splurges, our wedding came in barely over budget and was exactly what we wanted.
We got the most important thing right – the feeling. Our wedding felt like our relationship. Something that we had made together, something that reflected both of us equally, and something that was full of hope and joy and support for one another.
Listen, Special Day Syndrome is very real. If left unchecked, it can develop into something nasty. If you need to see it spiral out of control, just check out WeTV’s “Platinum Weddings”. Or like, any of WeTV’s wedding shows, actually. But spending a little extra to make your wedding feel the way you want isn’t crazy. Seriously. Tell your friends that a real, live wedding planner gave you the thumbs up.